The One Where John Confesses To Being Really Stupid

I’ve just discovered how to open a tin of corned beef. You know, the ones with the keys? I’ve always thought it was a really stupid design. Turns out it was me being really stupid all these decades… I used to try to turn the key as it was which, of course, didn’t work as it can’t rotate against the tin. So it would inevitably break. Then I’d resort to trying a tin opener (hard on those shaped tins), then normally end up with a knife and maybe a hammer…

Today, aged 43, I had a ‘brainwave’. Take the key off, turn it around so it overlaps the tin and it runs freely and, guess what, it works! Dead easy. Just opens the tin. Who knew? What a brilliant design.

I posted this on Facebook and a friend goaded me into revealing some more stupidity of mine. I do have quite a list of stupid things over the years including:

  • Being about 22 before I realised you could thread a belt through jean loops without having to force the BUCKLE through each loop… Yep, really.
  • A year or so later – after using a backpack for over a year and being totally frustrated by having to tie a knot in the string to close it (and untie it to open it), my girlfriend pointed out the blatantly obvious toggle that you just pressed and slid up and down to close and open it… Still, only a year or so of utter frustration – quite short lived that one…
  • ONLY LAST YEAR – seeing a TED talk on how to tie your shoelaces properly. I was amazed. It was completely different from how I’ve always done it and it worked so much better. And it was a TED talk so surely I couldn’t be the only one? But EVERY SINGLE PERSON I’ve told this to – initially with great excitement, now with trepidation – already ties them this way and thinks I’m crazy for not knowing this. Is it really just me and the man making the talk? Here it is –

I have more on my list of stupid things I’ve done incorrectly over the years but I think I’ve shared enough. Just remember, I’m not as clever as I look (hmm, ok, maybe I am as clever as I look … shit).

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